Taking Your Time Back Is Not Mean

Understand that it is not mean when you stop chasing people. It is a kind, practical way of protecting your inner resources so you can give from fullness instead of scarcity.

The first silence will feel loud. That loudness is the sound of a boundary being built. Let it be. Take a breath. You are doing the brave work of choosing yourself.

You may start to doubt that you are unlovable or that there is something 'wrong' with you because of the silence. You may have even felt like that already because you realize that you're the one always reaching out.

But the truth is, as hard as it is to accept sometimes, not every one is meant to be part of your circle. You may want them to be but maybe they don't. That can hurt but try not to take it personally. We are all on different paths and the timing just may not be working or maybe it's geographical.

Here's an action plan you can do starting tomorrow to help get back to your own rhythm.

• Define one small test. For 7 days, reduce initiating by 50 percent. Let others initiate half the time. Notice how interactions shift.

  
  

• Create a short boundary script. Example text: “I’ve been trying to slow down on my messages. If I don’t reply quickly it’s me checking out for mental health, not you.” Use it when you need to set expectations.

  
  

• Replace the habit. When you feel the urge to chase, do a 5-minute grounding instead: box breaths, make tea, write one sentence in a journal. This interrupts the reward loop.

  
  

• Schedule positive replacements. Use time freed from chasing to schedule something that brings you joy: a walk, a call with someone who shows up, a creative hour.

  
  

• Practice a compassion mantra. Try: “I am enough without their approval.” Repeat when anxiety spikes.

  
  

• Test a reconnection rule. If someone disappears and later returns, give a short probation period: three consistent contacts over a month before investing deeply again.

  
  

• Get support. Tell one trusted friend or therapist what you’re trying. Accountability softens the discomfort and reduces impulsive chasing as an escape.

You're a beautiful soul. Be kind to yourself.

Hugs,

Theresa